A FOOT CRANK’S CONFESSION - Part 32 of 37

 

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE:

Time passed by. 1994 ended. Our lives continued without much change. Mom and I were running our Estate great. The political situation in the country was getting stabilised and the prices for Ceylon Tea were high in the world market. We were getting more than enough orders from all around the globe and were making good profits.

I couldn’t continue my computer course in Colombo but I started doing a six month ‘Diploma in computer studies’ course at an institute called ‘IDM computer’ in Kandy. It was a weekend course and the institute was out of the city, just by the main road between Kandy and Pussellawa. So I often went for lectures by bus unless I had any other business in Kandy; in which I drove my jeep. The lecturer assigned for our batch was an attractive young lady named ‘Andrea’; who might have been about thirty years in age and still un-married at that time. I liked her style and therefore did follow the lectures keenly. I completed the course successfully being the batch-top of that course too.

I couldn’t participate in the FKC society programs very much after that. But I financially assisted their programs as much as possible. I knew even Aunt Hillary did so. She spoke to us over the phone at least once a month or so. The two sisters; Hillary and Demi had got into a habit of traveling to popular tourist destinations in Australia at least once a month.  Aunt Hillary had lots of storied to tell mom when they chattered. We had IDD direct dialing facilities by then. So I usually called her once in a way when I got the chance to get the hidden details of her tours; such as the foot massages she got at the resorts she stayed and about the hunky beach-boys who had assisted her.

Aunt Goldie, the ‘Queen’ goddess of my childhood fantasy world died in 1995. Her husband followed her the very next year. Uncle Ronald, been a cricket enthusiastic would have died a very happy man as Sri Lanka became the Champions of the cricket world cup in March 1996, just a few days before his death.

It was in 1996 that I thought of further studding Management Accountancy. The Excel Tuition College in Kandy was conducting lectures for CIMA exams. The lectures course was not as reliable as some of the courses that were conducted in Colombo but was much more convenient for me. The Excel Tuition College also was in Mulgampola, along the Pussellawa-Kandy main road. The lectures were of Saturdays from morning to evening. It was a small group class with about ten students in the batch.

That was where I first met Amanda; who I got married to three years later. Back then she was studying ‘Agricultural Economics’ for her PhD in the Post Graduate Institute of Agriculture at Peradeniya. She was a graduate of the University of Peradeniya. Her parents too were prominent scholars and Academics of the Peradeniya University. Her father Prof. Kumar Mason who had died in 1990 had been a well-known local researcher in the field of Agriculture. I had heard about him and his contributions to developing the tea industry in Sri Lanka. Amanda’s mother Janet also was a Biology researcher attached to the Faculty of Science.

Amanda is seven months younger to be; born on the 05^th of February, 1971. Her height and her complexion were very much like my mother’s. She also had some features of Aunt Hillary I thought once I started to look at her closely. She always wore denim jeans with lose-fit blouses and coat shoes for lectures.

The first thing I noticed about her was that she was very methodical in her work. She was the best student in the class to take and kept accurate notes of all subjects. That was something I was not very good at and therefore in any class I found a student who takes good notes and later copy them. Some are not so willing to share their notes with others but Amanda was very generous in that respect. Soon we became friends and got to know each other better.

It was by about the third day of our course that I got to know that she lived in Doluwa along the Galaha road, which ran across the Peradeniya University premises. I often happen to drive to Kandy along the Galaha road because it ran across a beautiful country sides and also it had less traffic. So I offered her a lift and said I could drop her home on my way if she wouldn’t mind. She often came to lectures by bus though she had the option of driving her mother’s car. She very gladly accepted my offer.

On the way home in the jeep, after I told her that we own the ‘Kalkalan’ tea estate in Prssellawa, she said that she remember her father visiting some tea estates in Pussellawa as a consultant but was not sure of their names. It was then I got to knew she was Prof. Kumar Mason’s daughter. Her house was beside the main road. She invited me in for a cup of tea once I dropped her at home, which I refused with thanks. I was not in a mood for tea at that time. I told her that I could give her a lift next Saturday morning as well, and got her number promising that I’d call her before leaving home.

That evening also I happened to give mom a foot massage. While rubbing her feet I asked her whether she knew Prof. Kumar Mason.

“Of cause! Professor Kumar was a good friend of your father. He worked as a consultant of the estate for some time. It was the time that harmful disease spread through up-country tea estates. It was professor Kumar who through his researches and prompt advices saved our estates. Why?” mom asked.

“His daughter Amanda is in my CIMA class. I gave her a lift on the way back today” I told her.

“His daughter? I’ve known they had a daughter but never have properly met her. But I know his wife Janet very well. Once we invited them for a lunch here and we have dropped in at their place several times while on the way from Kandy. Father and I went to professor’s funeral as well. I haven’t had much contact with Janet since then though. I must be having Janet’s number written somewhere; must give her a call tell her that you two are friends. They are still at that place by the main road in Duluwa, aren’t they?” mom asked me.

“Yes. I have their number. I offered her a lift on Saturday morning as well. I promised that I’d call Amanda before leaving home” I said.

“That’s good. Professor Kumar was such a good person. So is Janet” mom said.

Since then it became customary for me to pick-up and drop-back Amanda on Saturdays. Gradually we became best of friends and study partners.  Whenever she was unable to go for lectures I collected an extra tutorial and dropped it at her home on my way home. Whenever I couldn’t go for lectures she collected my tutorials and copied her notes, so that I could collect them from her place. Mom and Aunt Janet caught up with their old friendship and did most of the communicating on our behalf.

Mom whenever she could get the Saturdays freed, came with me in the morning and spent the day with Aunt Janet. Aunt Janet was just three years younger than mom and also was an expert in horticulture. So mom had a lot to learn from her, as mom too by then had taken a keen interest in gardening, as a result of the initial influence she had from Aunt Hillary.

Amanda and I chattered about many things on our way to and back from lectures. She was easy to chat like with Aunt Hillary, because she too was aware about most of the subjects I preferred to talk. Amanda, with a group of friends of her had been voluntarily helping the welfare of rural farming communities, through their technical expertise. She was aware of the FKC society and its activities. We often talked about such subjects. Often Aunt Hillary’s name propped-up in our conversations.

“This Aunt Hillary seems a very interesting character? She seemed to have made a great impact on you know?” once she asked me.

“Yes! Apart from my parents she’s the one that I owe most in my life’s  success” I replied.

One Saturday evening in April 1997 that mom had come to spend the day with Aunt Janet, as usual I waited in the jeep after dropping Amanda till mom came out. Often I dropped Amanda and drove away without going into the house, just exchanging a few greeting with Aunt Janet if she was to be seen around. If mom was there she usually waited ready to leave as soon as I arrived, knowing I preferred to get home without much delay.

“Janet and I made a cake this afternoon. Come let’s have a cup of tea and go. Aunt Janet has already poured the tea” mom came to the verandah and called me in. While we were having our tea with a delicious oven-fresh cake I felt that the two mothers were up to something. Aunt Janet was the first to speak;

“You see Tom, I’ve always been telling Amanda that it’s high time that she gets settled down” Aunt Janet couldn’t finish what she wanted to tell; Amanda interrupted.

“Amma!” she shouted at her mother. “Oh! Not again! We have had this conversation enough know?” she seemed irritated but her tone was not angry.

“You just wait will you? I’m talking to Tom here” Aunt Janet pretended to be angry with Amanda motioning her to shut-up her mouth and continued turning back towards me.

“So Tom? I was just talking with your mother this afternoon. You both are at your prime age and seemed to be getting on very well as friends. Don’t think this as a marriage proposal. I’m only just putting an idea in to your mind. I’m telling this to you because it’s pointless discussing things like this with this one” Aunt Janet gave a nod with a head and side long glance toward Amanda. Amanda made a funny face.

“Also, first I told your mother to go home and discuss this matter with you leisurely. And you definitely should do that before making any decisions. But we just decided to openly talk about the subject like this because both Madhu and I thought that we should first give you two the chance to see whether you two would like to build a common future together, before we start looking for suitable partners for you two elsewhere” Aunt Janet paused and looked at Amanda from above her spectacles, with a suppressed smile on her face.

“Amma, I told you know? That I don’t want to get married before my PhD is completed. Besides out CIMA stage two exams are just in just a month. And then two more stages to go which would take at least a year more. What’s this big hurry of ‘marriage’ all of a sudden?” Amanda asked her mother. Though she pretended to sound angry her expressions were friendly and her eyes were kind of happy.

“There is no hurry for anything, and no one is pushing you two to do anything here Amanda” Aunt Janet said looking towards Amanda and then continued looking towards me. “We as the mothers of you two are merely asking the two of you to casually discuss the matter and let us know. If you two think you are matching with each other on the long run and think could build a future together, then that’s it. We can just wait till you to decide when things should happen. If not just say so that so we could look for other alternatives. Isn’t that right Madhu?” she asked mother.

“Yes. Just don’t make a big issue of it darlings. Talk to each other about it when you feel like doing so. Take your time and decide. You two are good friends and you can stay on so no matter what? But knowing whether you two wish to just remain as good friends or would think of a marriage one day is very important for us as mothers. Both Janet and I like to see you get together, but do not want to influence either of you to do so. So that’s why we just thought of opening up the subject and leave it for you to decide” mom said.

Amanda by then was seated on the arms rest of Aunt Janet’s chair and was playfully pinching her arm softly; clearly expressing her dislike of what was going on. Aunt Janet trying to escape from her torturing spoke to me smiling;

“Tom, I’m sorry for putting you into this. See? This girl doesn’t like it a bit to talk about this subject. She always ends-up fighting with me when I try to talk to her about it. Hope she will not fight with you too. So just be careful with her okay? I’m asking you for this because you seem a much more mature person and could handle such a situation like an adult” Aunt Janet said laughingly, playfully hitting onto Amanda’s hand and teasing her; implying her to be still not grown-up. Amanda made a funny face again, hugged her mother from back and kept her head on her mother’s shoulder.

Amanda was still wearing her plimsoles she wore for lectures on that day. At that point, surprisingly I realized that I actually had hardly seen Amanda’s feet and toes though we had been close friends for about ten months up to then. How can I decide on my lifetime partner without seen her feet? I wondered. For the first time I felt a need to see Amanda’s feet. As Aunt Janet lost her balance on the chair when Amanda hugged her from behind, she was forced to cross her legs and became more comfortable on the chair. Aunt Janet as usual was wearing a Lungi up to her ankle on that day as well, but for the first time her foot was exposed to me as she crossed her legs.

She was wearing a normal pair of rubber thong slippers. Aunt Janet’s feet were full and puffy. The insteps were a maroon-brown in color. By the sides of the heel and instep I assumed her foot soles to be pinkish. She wore a Silver toe-ring and an ankle bracelet. Aunt Janet’s feet to me were a combination of my mom’s and my third Grade teacher Ms. Catherine’s feet. I liked them and assumed Amanda to have similar feet. All of a sudden, I was feeling that Amanda could even be the right one for me.

 I felt a bit shy and nervous to speak. But I felt I had to say something. So I gained courage and said “Okay Aunty, I’ll speak with Amanda about it when we get a chance”. I sounded as confident as possible and even gave a thumb up to Aunt Janet while winking at Amanda.

“Ah! You should have seen Tom a few years ago Janet. Back then if you had asked for something like that from him, he would have blushed and run-off home alone leaving me here. Thanks to my friend Hillary he’s now not as shy as then and seems more mature” mom said mostly to make Amanda comfortable I thought. We all laughed.

“Have you never thought of proposing to Amanda?” mom asked me while we were driving back home. I said ‘No’ and added that ‘I’m still not sure whether she was my ‘type’.

“What do you mean not your type” mom asked with a chuckle. I couldn’t look at her face though I wanted to as I was driving. I felt something fishy in her question. I said it was a bit complicated to explain laughingly. She shook her head smiling.

“Find out soon? She seems a nice girl to me” mom said squeezing my arm with love.

“If you want I could invite them for lunch one day. We could take them to the stream for a river-bath before lunch. That is if it would help you find whether she is that ‘whatever type’ you are looking for? I’m sure Amanda and Janet must be not be afraid of leaches like me and Rachel. Janet was telling me that Amanda was used to going out camping with her in forests from the time Amanda was just a toddler” mom was laughing as she said it. I wondered whether Aunt Hillary had told mom about my attempts of touching mom’s and my sister’s feet while removing leaches from their legs. Aunt Hillary had promised me that she would not tell mom anything about such details without asking me first.  So I decided it can’t be the case.

“May be later! First let me talk to the girl and see, okay?” I too replied laughingly, thinking mom’s idea was also not bad at all.

The next Saturday when I met Amanda I told her that we’ll have to have a serious chat about what our mothers are proposing sooner or later. She suggested that we should wait till our stage two exams were over, which was scheduled to be held in May 1997. I also thought it was a good idea.

And it was how we happen to meet one evening in June 1997 at the Royal Botanical Gardens at Peradeniya. Amanda finished her work at the University early that evening and I picked her up on my way. I got a special ticket to drive into the gardens and we parked the jeep at a parking space near a small pond. It was an isolated location of the gardens where not much of the visitors came. There was a single bench within a grove of flowering trees surrounded by the pond there in which we sat. Amanda didn’t waste any time to get to the subject as we settled down and started to eat roasted pea-nuts that she had brought.

“See Tom? You have been a very good friend to me and I’m sure you will continue to be so. But I have never thought of starting an affair with you because of two reasons. One is, as I have told before is that I don’t want to get married before I complete my doctorate. The second reason is that I have had a bad experience of having an affair once. It’s true that all men are not the same. But I just don’t feel like taking that risk again” she paused and then looked in me directly.

“Have you had any affairs before?” she asked. I felt it difficult to give that question with a direct answer.

“Kind of ‘Yes’ and “No’” I said with a chuckle. She looked at me surprised demanding an explanation with her eyes.

“It kind of was sort of a special relationship; “Yes” but was not actually an affair “No”. It’s very hard to explain it in short. We never had an intention of continuing it for long or had any plans of getting married. We met for a short period of time very well knowing we had two separate ways to go. But during that short time we became good friends, helped each other with the problems we faced and made each other happy. Then when the time came we parted and went on with our lives. So? Should I say “Yes” or “No”, I don’t know” I told her with a chuckle.

“Wow! I thought such romantic tales were only found in movies” Amanda said smiling. “You sound so that you still love her?” she gave me sidelong glance with a mischievous little grin.

“Well? If it means that ‘love is not hating’, then ‘Yes’; I don’t hate her” I said thoughtfully.

“That’s the difference between your story and mine. I hate my ex-boyfriend that much” she said and was silent for a moment.

“I met Chichi; his real name is Chamal, at an Advance level group tuition class. Like you he first came to me to borrow my notes. But unlike between us it always happened only one-way; he borrowed from me but never gave me any help in return. Actually the poor guy had nothing to offer. He was not good at his studies nor was he interested in studying. Chichi was a grandson of the famous aristocrat Mynago Wickramapaksha. They are you know a family with leading Gem & Jewelry businesses and have many high power political connections. It was none of that which attracted me to the guy by the way. I was the only girl in my class then that didn’t have a boy-friend and when this good looking guy came asking, I gave my consent without thinking much” Amanda chewed a few more pea-nuts and continued.

“At first he behaved well and didn’t bother me much till the exam. My father passed away just after my Advance level exam was over. Chichi came to the funeral and offered his help to Amma and me. Actually we didn’t need much help from him. Though father’s death happened suddenly all his friends and colleagues took care of everything needed to be done. After the funeral Chichi came to our place often. Amma didn’t show any objection to his coming but didn’t encourage it either. She just said to me; “to ‘think well’ and do what you think is right”.

“I think he was sure he would fail in the exam, he got involved in his family businesses and started to drive expensive-fancy vehicles and so on just after the exam. On one weekend he invited me to go for a day outing to the Riverston area. I love to travel and the Riverston-Deanston areas of the Knuckles range were basically I grew up as a kid. I hadn’t gone there for some time and badly needed a break to overcome the loss of papa; I agreed to go with Amma’s permission of cause. He asked me to bring a change. I usually take a small back-pack when I go on trips. Whether it be a week’s trip or just a day-outing; the bag always is much the same and has a towel and bathing cloth in in it. I have this habit of jumping in to streams whenever I see one worth bathing” Amanda went on explaining. But I couldn’t prevent that wide smile and shake my head when she mentioned river baths.

“Why?” she stopped and asked.

“No, my mother was telling me that we should invite you and your mother for a day out at our estate. She seems to know your taste very well. She was also saying of taking you two to the stream for a bath before lunch on the day you come. It’s a bit away from our Estate office. We sometimes go there and bathe” I explained.

“Cool! Ask Aunt Madhu to make it soon. I’m sure Amma also would love it” she said admiring mom’s proposal and then continued;

“Unfortunately Chichi’s  notion of a day-outing in Riverston had nothing to do with site-seeing. He had a friend with a tourist lodge up there and he had booked a room for us to spend the day” she paused and looked at me. “The bastard wanted to have sex with me! I blasted at him and came out of the room. I told him to go find himself a cheap-hooker if that’s what he’s looking for” She said angrily. Then she calmed herself and continued;

“I don’t have any strong objection to pre-marital sex as such. I’m not that conservative to say that sex only should only be done after marriage and that should happen only between married couples. No! I think if the two partners are willing to do it and doing so does not affect another’s feelings or is not against the law, then I think that nothing else should matter. Sex should happen based on the understanding of two; or may be more if so? Chichi was never open to that kind of conversation” she paused and looked at me with a shy smile and said;

“I’m sorry I’m just going on telling things. I know that girls in our society are not supposed to talk about things like this this openly and be this straight forward especially with strangers. But firstly you are now no stranger to me and also I assumed you to be open minded enough that I could talk to you about subjects such as sex freely. I’m sorry; are you comfortable with me talking such things or have I crossed the line?” she asked expressing guilt.

“Not at all! In fact I’m so glad that you are opened about subjects such as sex. That makes us alike. And you have made things easy for me by breaking the ice between us. It is true that marriage is not all about sex. But I believe sex does play a main role in it in today’s context. Now it would feel much easier for me to talk about myself and marriage. So thanks for taking the lead. Please continue” I said.

“Well? I guess that’s it. I think I have told you very much all about what I wanted to tell you” Amanda replied thoughtfully. “And what happened to this Chichi after that? Did he never come back?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Oh! no. He didn’t give-up that easily. That day at Riverston he apologized to me, so we had lunch and came back. But since then he came troubling me asking to marry him as soon as possible. I told him clearly that I can’t think of a marriage life till I complete my studies. He didn’t take it as an answer and told Amma that he wants to marry me and that he could provide me with everything; that I needn’t study or do a job. I felt so furious that I scolded him calling him a lousy-looser. He in return left threatening us that he would ‘show us who he is’ and   bragging he would have me in one way or another. Amma was really scared for sometime after that; she slept in my room with an axe near the bed” she laughed.

“After sometime we got to know that Chichi had messed-up with some powerful minister’s son at a night-club in Colombo and his father had sent him to UK for his own safety. Later I got to know from a friend that he had come back and got married to a daughter of one of their business partners. A business deal rather than a marriage I guess? Now he is a well-known alcoholic womanizer it seems, as some of my friends tell me. Anyway he seems to have lost his pride now and I think I’m safe from his threats” she said nodding her head in self-approval of her opinion.

“So what’s your story like? I mean only if you wish to tell me. Even if we are married I think we have the right to keep certain things a secret from each other. But it would be better if the other knows that he or she has secrets. Some secrets may take time to be disclosed; done as trust between the two develops. Then there could be secrets that need not be disclosed ever; that would die with us. Whatever? We are not yet married. So you need not tell me anything yet. I just asked” she said as if regretting she asked that question. She continued speaking before I could respond;

“The bottom line is; if you are willing to marry me you’ll have to wait for about two more years till I complete my PhD. And I think I can trust you in telling this to you; though Chichi was the only boyfriend I’ve had and we haven’t had sex, I may not be a virgin anymore. I have done things on my own out of curiosity and doubt that I might have lost it. I say this because; there is a tradition in the society we live in that a girl has to prove her virginity on her wedding night. In case your mom or you are a keen interest in performing that test on me, I must warn you that I may fail it. Again I trust on you in telling this to you. Not even my mother knows about it. So, whether we get married or not I trust you that you’ll not tell anyone about it. Promise!” she looked at me. There was a serious smile on her face. I put out a laugh to break-up the tension.

“Yes I promise I’ll tell no one whatever you tell me not to tell anyone. And in return I’ll expect you too to do the same. And about your conditions; or say situations rather? I’ll take the second one first; about your virginity. I am not at all interested in such traditions and don’t think my mom would be either. Besides, it is very unfair that I myself not been a virgin expecting you to remain one” I said. She looked at me surprised; her lips shut tight concealing a smile and her eyes wide open with her eye brows lifted.

“Now that is something even my mom doesn’t know and I want you to promise you’ll tell no one” I asked with a smile. She promised with a smile, nodding her head for me to continue.

“The second, about having to be waiting for two years; is a difficult one because I’m already getting to like you. But I also think it’s a good thing because I need some time to explain myself to you. I can’t just say it out like you do. It’s a bit complicated. As you said, there are secrets in my life that I want to tell you, but can’t right now because I have promised certain others that I’ll not betray them. I can trust you that you would not tell them to anyone. But I need time to make up my mind. Especially there are thing I do not want my mom to know, because it would damage the trust she has in me. So first, I’ll tell you things that only involve me. Okay?” I said, rather making a suggestion.

“Sure Tom. As I said earlier, you don’t have to tell me anything that you’re still not ready to tell me. In the meantime let’s tell our mothers that we are positive about their proposal but we need some time to talk things out and make a final decision. And in the meantime, you can always trust me to tell anything. Girls are reputed for gossiping. But I rate myself to be different from them. So you can be pretty sure that whatever you tell would be safe with me” she sounded reassuring.

For the second time in my life I felt comfortable in sharing my true feelings and emotions with someone else; as same as I had felt comfortable with Aunt Hillary.